Chapter 104: Who's Next?
Though no one could have imagined how to turn a shampoo commercial lasting just over a minute into a wild, absurd spectacle, the fans were brimming with confidence and anticipation.
When an angel produces something, it’s bound to be a masterpiece!
That had long been common knowledge, but they still took a moment at the start of the video to sip some water and steady their nerves—lest they miss the chance later. Many viewers had learned the hard way that trying to eat or drink while watching could lead to choking fits.
As the catchy, almost hypnotic audio played alongside the video, it was unmistakably a bizarrely edited shampoo commercial. Many fans felt pretty proud of their foresight.
At the outset, the footage sped up, and those who had already seen it once hit replay, while simultaneously firing off warnings in the chat to spare others from disaster.
“Run, if you haven’t watched it yet! There’s no time left!”
“Warning: Full-on madness ahead, do NOT drink water!”
“Don’t blame me for having a low threshold for humor, just say our angel is amazing!”
“Looping endlessly—nnn...”
Despite the many warnings, few truly believed the hype. Was it really that over-the-top? After all, they’d been through countless absurd videos before—what was the big deal?
And what on earth was the “n” about?
Once the first few carefree head-shaking seconds ended, the main segment began, and the moment the speaker opened his mouth, those who had been nervously sipping water nearly sprayed it all over their screens.
An outright confession!
“When I first learned I was going to shoot a shampoo commercial,” the voice began, “actually, I… I refused!
I told the director, I refused! Because honestly, I don’t have any hair.
The director said, after filming we’ll add special effects!
The hair will look black, shiny, and soft.
After a month of special effects, the hair…
Later, I realized they were… fake, chemical components!
Now, every day, I’m still adding special effects.
Adding special effects! Hair…
…”
Kneeling in awe. Bowing down.
“After filming, they add special effects! Hahaha…
It’s fake, all fake, special effects!
I’ve read a lot—don’t think you can fool me with the original footage!
Except for a few reckless viewers who almost choked on their food, everyone else burst out laughing.
Who would have thought the original one-minute commercial could be turned into something so hilariously absurd?
Only one word for the creator’s skill: respect!
Watching Dragon Uncle talk nonsense with a straight face, yet somehow it all felt perfectly natural, paired with these strangely fitting edits—it was simply brilliant.
The video kept rolling. If the start was this strong, the rest couldn’t disappoint.
“When viewers use it, without special effects… there’s no hair at all.
My hair looks thick and black because I… add special effects!
After using it, I don’t have this kind of hair at all.
This is the shampoo I use.
My shampoo is all special effects, special effects, special effects!
During filming… there was no hair at all. Fake, fake. My hair is fake.
No herbal ingredients, reject herbal medicine, reject hair.
When viewers use it… don’t blame me, because I… don’t have any hair!
Very black, very shiny! Very black, very shiny! Very black, very black is fake, it’s a hair special effect! It’s chemical!”
Hahaha… the host is absolutely nuts!
Very black, very black is fake. Actually, there’s no hair at all.
Hehe… such a cute Dragon Uncle.
“My hair’s black… and thick!”
For the hundredth time, mysteriously looping...
With that expression, I’m about to laugh my abs into shape.
…
Just when the audience thought it couldn’t get any funnier, the real high-energy moments were just beginning—especially when Dragon Uncle, with an earnest look, declared he had no real hair at all; it was all fake, chemical stuff, special effects! His honest little eyes sent the fans watching into fits of laughter.
Those who had been grumbling about the host’s side projects—making two episodes of these absurd videos instead of focusing on games—lost all their complaints. There was no resisting the comedy.
Completely uncontrollable.
“Now, every day, I’m still adding special effects!
I even add special effects to my team!
When you use it, it’s a no-go.
After I use it… hair…
…”
The few-minute video quickly neared its end. Some fans wished the progress bar would crawl slower, but no such luck—the video wound down amid their collective groans.
Yet soon, everyone noticed a few seconds of blank screen at the very end. Could it be an Easter egg, just like the last video? Thanks to their habit formed from watching Assassin’s Creed game videos, many fans didn’t rush away. Past experience told them to wait—there might be more.
Under everyone’s watchful eyes, stark black text appeared on the empty screen.
“Why is black so wonderful?
Because my love is deep!”
After reading this, fans flooded the chat with sarcastic comments. The host was shameless, truly—but any lingering doubts among those who felt he was dragging Dragon Uncle’s name through the mud vanished. They joined the barrage of jokes.
“Well said! I embrace death…”
“No need for posturing, we’re still best friends.”
“You know why I’m the ‘dirty type’? Because my love is deep!”
“I’m trapped and can’t get out, little angel, you have to take responsibility!”
“Open up! It’s a delivery from SF Express!”
“Fake, it’s all special effects! Chemical components!”
“Host, be honest—who are you going to roast next?”
…
While fans gleefully fired off their comments, they also speculated on who the angel would satirize next. With first, second, and third installments, there were surely more to come. The previous absurd video had featured over a dozen characters, so many fans resolved to learn who they all were—otherwise, they’d risk missing the jokes next time.
As a result, overnight, many relatively unknown actors, singers, and celebrities surged onto trending search lists, their past deeds eagerly uncovered by fans.
Special thanks to readers who generously supported with 1,000 Starting Coins from Fantasy Land, and to Book Road Emperor and Night Queen Non-Morning for their 100 Starting Coins each—flowers everywhere! This chapter’s video is “Jackie Chan’s Shampoo,” 2023391. As always, please support!