Chapter Twelve

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She disliked being called a child, especially when the person saying it was Gu Huaisheng. No matter what she did, no matter how hard she tried to make herself appear more mature, in his eyes she seemed to have made no progress at all, as though nothing about her had changed.

And she was hurting so badly. Could he not say something kind for once?

She was somewhat angry, yet Gu Huaisheng’s expression remained unmoved. He was like a lofty flower untouched by emotion; no matter how fiercely the wind and rain battered him, he remained indifferent.

“This is different,” he said.

Not crying out in pain did not mean she was no longer a child.

“And from now on, do not sneak off with unrelated men. Do not sneak out of the residence either. Even Gu Huailang would not do such a thing.”

Since Jiang Jingchun had compared herself with Gu Huailang, he had brought Gu Huailang up as an example.

She claimed she was not a child, yet even a child would not do the things she had done.

But when Jiang Jingchun heard this, her eyes brightened. “Cousin, do you dislike my playing with other men? If you do, then from now on I certainly…”

She certainly would not go again.

Madam Li had already hurried over from outside, and Gu Huaisheng could vaguely hear her approaching footsteps.

Since someone was coming, it would not be appropriate to continue discussing such matters with Jiang Jingchun. He interrupted her and said, “No. It is merely improper by the rules of propriety. If there is a next time, your maternal uncle will beat you again.”

With that, Gu Huaisheng went outside, passing Madam Li as she arrived.

His words had been nothing more than the simplest reminder. They carried no other meaning, nor the slightest trace of any additional emotion. Yet Jiang Jingchun had actually allowed her thoughts to wander elsewhere.

She stood rooted to the spot, unable to resist pinching her palm. A little more blood seeped through the white bandage.

By the time she came back to herself, all she could hear was Madam Li’s voice. Gu Huaisheng’s retreating figure had long since vanished.

Jiang Jingchun slept poorly that night. Perhaps Jiang Nan’s punishment had left her deeply shaken. Nightmares clung to her, and she murmured constantly in her sleep, never resting peacefully.

When she awoke the next morning, she had developed a fever. Her head was heavy and muddled, and she did not even have the strength to rise. Yet, remembering what had happened the day before and fearing that she might displease the adults, she did not dare ask for leave again. She could only force herself to attend Nanny Liu’s lesson.

Unfortunately, she could not hold on until the end. She collapsed unconscious right in the middle of class, frightening everyone around her.

She was carried to the Old Madam’s room and laid down. The household physician, who had examined her injured hand the previous day, was summoned once more.

Fortunately, after examining her, he found nothing seriously wrong. She had likely been frightened, and because wounds were especially prone to inflammation in spring, the resulting chain of reactions had caused her fever. It was no serious illness; two days of rest should see her recover.

The Old Madam had retired after entering her room the previous day, and the commotion outside had not disturbed her. Jiang Nan had also ordered everyone to keep silent and conceal the matter.

Thus, it was not until Jiang Jingchun fainted that she learned from the servants what had happened the night before.

After the physician left, the Old Madam said darkly to the servants, “When that wretch finishes his duties, summon him here.”

This was the first time the Old Madam had been so furious. She seemed truly enraged. It appeared that she still cared deeply for Jiang Jingchun; otherwise, she would not have become so angry over a minor injury.

What had happened there did not spread outside, and Madam Li still knew nothing. The servants went about boiling medicine and fetching water, and the only sounds in the room were their footsteps and quiet bustle. The Old Madam sat beside the bed, keeping watch over Jiang Jingchun, who remained unconscious.

Fragrant smoke drifted from the Boshan censer, curling through the air around them.

No one knew how much time had passed before the person on the bed finally awoke.

When Jiang Jingchun opened her eyes, she realized that she was not in her own room. Turning her head, she saw her grandmother seated beside her. The old woman’s energy was limited, and her eyes were half closed as she rested.

Jiang Jingchun called out hoarsely, “Grandmother.”

Her voice was dry and rasping, as though it had been rubbed raw by sand.

Seeing that she was awake, the Old Madam opened her eyes. “You’re awake? Is your mouth dry?”

She had been unconscious for nearly a day. After sleeping so long, her mouth was naturally parched.

Jiang Jingchun nodded. The Old Madam personally rose, went to the table for some water, then helped her sit up and fed her a few sips.

As expected, the water soothed her dry throat considerably. Without it, even breathing had been painful.

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Jiang Jingchun glanced outside. The afterglow of the setting sun had fallen across the door panels through the lattice windows.

She had not realized that evening had already arrived.

Lowering her eyes, Jiang Jingchun said, “I’m sorry, Grandmother. I’ve caused you trouble.”

There was a trace of caution in her voice. Seeing her like this, the Old Madam furrowed her brow. She knew that Jiang Nan’s words the previous day—accusing her of lacking all sense of human decency—had left a shadow over the girl.

Jiang Jingchun was probably still uneasy because of what had happened.

The fever was an illness of the body, but there was also an illness of the heart.

The Old Madam asked her directly, “Are you still thinking about yesterday?”

Jiang Jingchun remained silent for a while. Only after a long pause did she say, “I should not have run off. Yesterday was your birthday celebration, Grandmother, yet I still wanted to go out and play. I have been an unfilial granddaughter.”

As expected, she was still troubled by the matter.

The Old Madam sighed and reached out to smooth Jiang Jingchun’s tangled hair. As she gently combed through it with her fingers, she said, “Hasn’t Grandmother already told you? Such things are done for other people to see. Who cannot put on a respectable show? He makes a great spectacle of my birthday and looks at me a few more times—does that make him the most filial son beneath heaven? You are the one who stays by my side every day, not him. He has no right to criticize you.”

“Do not let your father frighten you into trembling with fear. He only bullies you because you are young and easily frightened. So long as Grandmother does not blame you, who else would dare?”

Her words were earnest, and her tone was gentler than usual, touched with unusual warmth.

The current dynasty placed the greatest importance on filial piety and brotherly respect, extolling the Confucian virtues of benevolence, righteousness, propriety, and wisdom, with strict distinctions between those of higher and lower status. Even the emperor, upon entering the court, had to honor Heaven and follow the example of his ancestors. From emperors down to commoners, no one could break free of these standards.

Jiang Nan, who held office at court, cared especially about such matters. Yet those who served in government had always been better at speaking than acting. Even if he truly possessed six parts filial devotion toward the Old Madam, he could display ten parts for the eyes of others.

Jiang Jingchun was different. Though she possessed a full ten parts of filial devotion in her heart, the fact that she had gone out to play on the day of the birthday celebration had earned her the accusation of lacking all human feeling and propriety.

Conscience was merely the heart that distinguished right from wrong. Jiang Jingchun was not confused, nor was she without a conscience. She knew perfectly well who was sincere and who was pretending.

The Old Madam did not care whether Jiang Jingchun was present on that particular day. Was it not enough that she was there in ordinary times?

Jiang Jingchun listened to the Old Madam in silence for a long while. Though the old woman had said she did not blame her, Jiang Jingchun’s eyes still reddened. She sniffed, wanting to say something more, but at that moment a maid entered from outside and whispered something into the Old Madam’s ear.

The Old Madam told Jiang Jingchun to lie down and rest again, then rose and went outside.

The person who had arrived was Jiang Nan, who had just finished his duties.

Everyone else had been dismissed from the room. Only mother and son remained.

Jiang Nan sat to one side. From the Old Madam’s expression, he knew why she had summoned him, and he did not speak first.

“Even if she is not your own daughter, how could you treat her so harshly? Do you think that treating Jingchun well means treating Jinghui badly?” the Old Madam said.

Jiang Nan froze for a moment, as though she had struck upon the truth of his thoughts. Soon, however, he gave a derisive laugh, as if he had heard some absurd joke. He raised his head and looked at the Old Madam, his eyes carrying a hint of challenge.

“How have I treated her?” he said. “If she did something wrong, was I not allowed to punish her? From childhood until now, I consider that I have never done anything truly cruel to her. Even when she reached the age for foot binding, she cried, thrashed about, and shouted that it hurt, yet did I not refrain from forcing her feet to be wrapped? Which girl from a respectable household does not bind her feet? If word got out, people would only say that her family had failed to educate her. I have already been lenient. What more do you want from me?”

When Jiang Jingchun had reached the proper age, her feet were meant to be bound. She could not endure the pain. She had struck her head against walls and even tried to throw herself into a river. Knowing that Madam Li doted on her, she had made a great show of threatening suicide in front of her. There had been no alternative. Whenever Jiang Jingchun was conscious, she had continued making a terrible fuss. What else could they have done?

Fortunately, Jiang Jingchun’s feet stopped growing afterward. Though they fell far short of the ideal three-inch golden lilies, there was nothing more that could be done. In time, the matter of binding her feet was quietly allowed to fade away, and no one mentioned it again.

“Do not bring that matter up,” the Old Madam said. “If knocking her unconscious would have solved everything, you would have struck her on the forehead with a hoe.”

Foot binding took at least a month or two. They could hardly keep her unconscious for the entire process.

Jiang Nan had been exposed, but he remained stubborn. “But if what happened yesterday were to get out, what would people say about her?”

“No one said anything. Who would spread it?”

His argument was plainly unreasonable.

Jiang Nan did not dare continue quarreling with the Old Madam. Her temper was even more obstinate than his, and prolonging the argument would benefit no one.

He abandoned the subject and changed tack. “She is now old enough to begin discussing marriage. How can she continue behaving so intimately with that young man from the Song family?”

“She has passed sixteen. She ought to be betrothed by now.”

Marriage negotiations should have been handled by Madam Li, but she had never shown much concern over the matter. Whenever Jiang Nan raised it, she always cited Jiang Jingchun’s continued affection for Gu Huaisheng. Surely Jiang Jingchun could not remain unmarried forever simply because she could not marry Gu Huaisheng?

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The Old Madam said coolly, “Do not try to change the subject.”

Jiang Nan pressed his lips together and said nothing more.

He remained there and endured nearly half an hour of scolding. By the time he left Rongde Hall, his face had gone somewhat pale.

Afterward, he returned to his study, where a guard was waiting outside.

When the guard saw Jiang Nan return, he clasped his fists in salute. Jiang Nan glanced at him and nodded in acknowledgment, then motioned for him to follow him inside.

They walked to the writing desk. Jiang Nan sat down, raised his head, and asked, “Have you found any trace of her?”

His tone was calm. He had asked some version of that question nearly a hundred times, yet the guard’s answer had always been, “We are still searching.” By now, he no longer held out much hope.

This time, however, the answer was different.

“We have found traces of the young lady.”

Jiang Nan’s brow twitched. For a moment, he could not react, even wondering whether he had heard correctly.

“You found her?”

His voice trembled uncontrollably, revealing his tension.

The guard replied, “Not yet. But we have discovered some clues.”

After leaving the study, Jiang Nan returned to the main residence.

Madam Li had remained resentful because he had struck Jiang Jingchun’s hand with a ruler. Whenever she saw him, she pretended not to notice him and refused to speak to him. Even when it was time to sleep, she had moved to another side room.

Jiang Nan naturally knew why she was angry. When he returned to the main residence and found her absent from the room, he went to the side chamber to look for her. As expected, he found her there.

Hearing the commotion outside, Madam Li looked up. When she saw that it was Jiang Nan, her expression immediately darkened.

“What have you come here for?” she asked.

Simply seeing him was irritating enough.

Jiang Nan ignored her sharp tone. He walked over and sat beside her, maintaining a calm and composed demeanor. There even seemed to be a glimmer in his eyes as he looked at her.

“Wanning,” he said, “we have news of Xiaohui.”

Xiaohui. That name had not reached Madam Li’s ears in a very long time. Caught off guard by its sudden mention, she stared blankly for a moment before asking, “Which Xiaohui?”

She searched her memories for the name, but perhaps that part of her past had been sealed away in some distant corner. No matter how hard she tried, she could not remember who the girl was. She could not even remember that Jiang Jingchun had once been called Jiang Jinghui.

Madam Li’s brows drew tightly together. She no longer had the energy to remain angry with Jiang Nan.

Who was Xiaohui?

“Xiaohui is our daughter,” Jiang Nan said.

Xiaohui was her daughter?

But Madam Jiang remembered having only one daughter: Jiang Jingchun.

“Stop inventing relatives for me. I have only one daughter, Jiang Jingchun.”

She thought Jiang Nan must have decided that Jiang Jingchun was being disobedient and was deliberately saying such things to provoke her.

“She is studying proper conduct with Mother now. You have made your point, so stop it.”

She no longer wished to continue speaking with Jiang Nan and rose to leave.

Jiang Nan watched Madam Li, Wanning, walk away, then slowly exhaled a breath of foul air.

Very well. It was only natural that she could not accept it when he suddenly brought up the matter. Once they found the girl, surely she would not continue denying her.