I Am the Police, You Are the Thief (1)

A black Volkswagen pulled up right in front of Zhaohua. A man in a black T-shirt leaned halfway out the car window, pointing at her. “If you’re looking to die, do it somewhere else.”

Zhaohua opened her eyes, glanced around, and saw small groups of people gathering nearby, all staring and whispering about her.

“Young lady, you need to be careful crossing the road. Daydreaming like that is dangerous,” an older woman admonished her.

“My apologies,” Zhaohua replied sincerely—then promptly turned and ran.

The onlookers: …

Zhaohua ducked into the restroom of a nearby mall. She needed to figure out whose body she now inhabited before she could enjoy herself in this world.

“Play the introduction video,” she said, lowering the toilet lid and sitting down. High-end malls were different indeed—even their restrooms were spotless.

“Dad, I can’t. All the data from the previous world was deleted before we were exiled,” her wild system replied in a pitiful tone.

“God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was the sun. I say, ‘Play the introduction video,’ and that means you should be able to do it.” No wonder Weisheng got into trouble—turns out he brought a useless drag-along…

—

The original owner of this body was named Gu Zhaohua, a low-level thug under the kingpin of the eastern part of City A. Usually, she just collected protection money in the Colorful District or mediated messy love affairs.

The protagonist in this world was Cui Yu, the adopted son of City A’s mafia boss, Cui Mingyi. Adopted at three, Cui Yu devoted his life to serving Cui Mingyi—until he met the female lead, Li Yun, a gentle and kind middle school teacher. After falling in love, Cui Yu wanted to leave the criminal world and start a new life with her. When Cui Mingyi found out, he kidnapped Li Yun. The plot that followed was a never-ending cycle: the hero rescues the heroine… she gets captured again… he rescues her once more… until finally, the hero kills his adoptive father and lives happily ever after with Li Yun. The original Gu Zhaohua, after escaping to the Colorful District during one of the heroine’s kidnappings, was mistaken by the hero for one of Cui Mingyi’s people and got stabbed to death—classic cannon fodder.

Zhaohua finished reviewing the plot, utterly shocked. A mafia story twisted into a Mary Sue tale—unbelievable. She silently resolved, “When I get back, I’ll make sure they stop writing such exhausting, ridiculous plots the next time they create a small world.”

“Dad, should we still collect emotional points?” the wild system asked meekly.

“Is your upgrade method based on emotional points?”

“Yes, once I reach Level 1, I can collect fragments of the master’s soul.” Only when it came to the previous master did the little system seem to have any intelligence.

“Then go ahead and collect them. Upgrade as usual. As for the soul, I’ll keep it safe for now,” Zhaohua replied after some thought.

“Thank you, Dad! Love you, Dad!” The system gushed shamelessly.

—

Idiot. According to the Time Authority’s upgrade protocols, this exiled system probably had no way to unlock Level 1 except by being rebuilt from scratch.

“Every meeting is fate. Work hard and level up.”

Zhaohua straightened her clothes and stepped out. This mall was one of City A’s most upscale landmarks. The first and second floors were dominated by international luxury brands, with clothing stores on the next two levels, then a floor for maternity and baby goods, and, near the top, exclusive fine dining restaurants.

The original Zhaohua rarely visited such places—partly because she had no money, and partly because she believed only evil capitalists shopped here.

“Dad, the emotional value of products in this modern world is so high, especially luxury goods!” If the system had hands, it would be rubbing them together in gleeful anticipation.

“No problem. We’ll come back and steal some later.” Making money was out of the question; after all, she hadn’t learned any skills for that. She’d have to get by on theft.

“By the way, how many emotional points did you have in the last world?” Zhaohua suddenly remembered she’d robbed quite a lot there.

System data:
Emotional points: 498,568
Fragments: 0

“See, we’ve already reached the threshold for a qualitative change,” Zhaohua said with satisfaction.

“You’re absolutely right, Dad.” The system had no scruples—other people’s mission items could fetch a hundred thousand emotional points apiece. Whatever the system could do, Dad could do as well, so better to just ride Dad’s coattails to victory.

Zhaohua returned to the original owner’s apartment, hesitating at the door. It was a cramped one-bedroom—takeout boxes and instant noodle cups littered the living and dining tables, clothes were strewn haphazardly across the couch, and the floor looked like it had just hosted a wild party: cigarette butts, ashes, beer bottles—there was nowhere to step.

After two hours of hard cleaning, Zhaohua finally collapsed onto the couch in a boneless sprawl. If the original owner hadn’t left her with only eighteen yuan and twenty cents, she’d have gone straight to a hotel.

No wonder she ended up as cannon fodder—what a rough, unrefined life!

“Dad, we need to earn some money. Otherwise, what are we going to eat for dinner? Ugh… All the food in my system space was…” The wild system felt a pang of sympathy for Zhaohua. Dad was working so hard for both of us…

—

The iron door before her was rusted all over, except for a faint shine on the handle. Zhaohua hesitated for three seconds, then decided to kick it open. After all, she was here to take over the turf—no need to be gentle.

—

“Gu Zhaohua, what’s wrong with you?” The first to come charging out from inside was Ji Jun, the original owner’s “colleague.”

Both the original Zhaohua and Ji Jun worked for Mo Fei, the local boss—an imposing, burly figure with thick gold chains, a flashy gold watch, and a body full of muscle. He looked every bit the gangster or an unsavory businessman, and in truth, he was both.

“Where’s Mo Fei?” Zhaohua asked.

“Gu Zhaohua, you’ve got guts, calling Mo by his name…” Ji Jun circled around her and hurried to the iron door. “This door is on its last legs. Can’t you let it die in peace?”

Zhaohua: I’m here to shake things up, and all you care about is the door?

“Mo will be here this afternoon,” Ji Jun said, closing the door and turning to size Zhaohua up. “What’s up? Found another fat sheep to fleece?” He looked her up and down, then down and up again, and finally remarked, “Zhaohua, you seem like a different person.”

Zhaohua: You can tell?

“I mean, you actually look prettier. You never used to bother with your hair, it was always tied up in a mess—now you’re wearing it down, and it looks good.” As he spoke, Zhaohua walked inside, with Ji Jun trailing behind, mumbling about her appearance.

This place was where Mo Fei and his crew held meetings. Besides Zhaohua and Ji Jun, there were a dozen or so other colleagues, but generally, they only all showed up when there was something important, or on the 1st, 15th, and last day of each month.

Zhaohua looked around but saw nothing of value. She simply curled up on the sofa and pulled out her phone to play a matching game.

“Gu Zhaohua, you’d better be careful when you see Mo later. I heard you didn’t meet your quota last week, and he’s not happy with you!” Ji Jun dragged a chair over, sat across from her, and started cracking sunflower seeds.

“A mafia job with a KPI—he’s really something,” Zhaohua muttered, engrossed in her game, not even looking up.

“K… what? Anyway, just be careful.” Seeing she didn’t care, Ji Jun didn’t know what else to say. The most he could do was step in if she got hit later.

“Gu Zhaohua, you’ve got the nerve to lounge around here?!” A thunderous roar echoed through the room, startling Ji Jun so much that he dropped a seed.