Chapter 21: The Short Video Goes Viral

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Although these water monkeys were fierce and terrifying, they had one fatal weakness.

That weakness was the depression on the tops of their heads.

Water monkeys were all bald, with only a ring of black hair around their scalps. The very crowns of their heads were bare and sunken inward, forming a hollow.

A small pool of water collected in that hollow. That was the water monkeys’ fatal weakness.

The moment the water in their head was drained away, they would die.

Knowing this, I remained perfectly calm. I seized each water monkey by the neck, one in each hand, and smashed their heads together with all my strength.

Bang!

The collision left them dazed and reeling.

I pressed down on their heads and flung them forward, headfirst. The water in the hollows atop their skulls was immediately shaken out.

Once the water had drained away, the two water monkeys thrashed about like creatures deprived of oxygen, shrieking miserably. Before long, they suffocated and died.

The entire process took no more than three to five minutes. It was easier than killing chickens.

When the two evil spirits finally stopped moving altogether, I picked them up and tossed them before Dean Feng. Then I dusted off my hands and said with a flourish:

“The evil spirits have been subdued, and the threat has been eliminated. Rest assured, Dean Feng. From now on, the Feng family villa will be peaceful. No more water monkeys will ever harm anyone here.”

Looking at the corpses of the two water monkeys lying on the ground, Dean Feng was completely dumbfounded.

He was not the only one. Every other member of the Feng family, including Lin Yulang, had been stunned by my thunderous methods.

It took them quite some time to recover. Then they began praising me one after another.

“Mazi, you’re incredible!”

“Mazi, what a masterful technique!”

“Thank goodness for you, Mazi! Otherwise, we truly wouldn’t have known what to do!”

“Mazi, you’ve done our Feng family a tremendous favor. We will certainly reward you handsomely!”

“…”

I was not proud of myself in the slightest. Glancing at the time, I said:

“It’s getting late. I need to hurry home. My wife will be frightened if she’s alone at home tonight.”

Afterward, I had Dean Feng arrange a private car to take me straight home.

By the time I arrived, it was nearly midnight. As expected, little Gu Qianxi was still awake, and the bedroom was brightly lit.

When I pushed open the door and looked inside, I burst out laughing.

She was lying alone in the middle of the enormous bed, while several densely packed circles of paper figures surrounded her as though they were forming a ritual formation.

The paper figures stood in neat rows with their backs to her and their faces turned outward, encircling her layer after layer.

I laughed and said:

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“Wifey, what an impressive display! With so many paper figures arranged in formation to protect you, you’ve practically become a nationally protected animal.”

The moment she saw me return, Gu Qianxi happily sat up in bed and opened her arms for a hug.

“Mazi, you’re finally back!”

“You left me alone in an empty room in the middle of the night. I was scared! Since you weren’t here to protect me, I had no choice but to let these paper figures protect me instead.”

With a smile, I walked over and lifted Gu Qianxi out from among the paper figures. I sat her on my lap and held her close.

Like a little kitten, Gu Qianxi nestled against me. Her fragrant hair brushed back and forth against my chin. Suddenly, she picked up her phone and said:

“Oh, right! Mazi, you’re famous now. Did you know?”

I froze slightly and asked in astonishment:

“What? I’m famous?”

“How did I become famous?”

Gu Qianxi said smugly:

“At the Feng family villa today, didn’t your younger brother Lin Yulang kneel before you?”

I asked in surprise:

“How did you know that?”

Gu Qianxi replied:

“Someone from the Feng family recorded it and posted the video online! It spread throughout the local channels, and it already has hundreds of thousands of views!”

“Mazi, you’re now the head of our Gu Beitang, while Lin Yulang is the head of Emerald Pavilion.”

“The head of Emerald Pavilion kneeling before the head of Gu Beitang in public—do you know how sensational that news is? It’s like Ronald McDonald kneeling before Colonel Sanders from KFC in front of a crowd!”

I had to admit, my wife certainly knew how to make comparisons.

The moment she put it that way, I understood.

“Haha, this is getting interesting. I’d really like to see how my parents react when they come across this short video. They’ll probably hang Lin Yulang up and beat him to death.”

I laughed.

Gu Qianxi also covered her mouth and giggled.

“That’s right. Lin Yulang has lost an enormous amount of face this time. More importantly, all this commotion has caused the reputation of our Gu Beitang to soar. I saw so many people in the comments saying that from now on, they would come to Gu Beitang whenever they needed feng shui advice, and would never dare go to Emerald Pavilion again.”

I nodded with a smile.

“Excellent. It’s time to restore the reputation of our Gu Beitang.”

Nestled in my arms, Gu Qianxi asked curiously:

“Oh, right, Mazi. You still haven’t told me what actually happened at the Feng family villa today. Why did Lin Yulang kneel before you?”

With a warm, fragrant beauty in my arms and the reputation of Gu Beitang restored, I felt as though I had become the winner of life itself.

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Holding my warm and fragrant wife close, I said with a smile:

“Then I’ll tell you the story of what happened today. I guarantee you’ll enjoy it.”

“Wonderful!”

Gu Qianxi said happily:

“Tell me the story of the Feng family villa tonight and lull me to sleep!”

With that, she obediently nestled against me and listened as I began telling her the story of the water monkeys.

…

As it turned out, the short video of Lin Yulang kneeling before me really did go viral.

The very next day, Gu Beitang welcomed a new customer.

Before I took charge of Gu Beitang, the establishment had gone twenty years without a single client.

Yet after I arrived, Gu Beitang had opened for business twice in the space of just a few days.

This time, the customer was a gentleman in his fifties. His hair was streaked with gray, his frame was thin, and his complexion was rather unpleasant.

At a glance, it was obvious that some major upheaval had recently taken place in his life.

Although Gu Beitang actually provided services involving feng shui, geomancy, yin-yang principles, and the Eight Trigrams, on the surface it was merely a teahouse.

Anyone entering a teahouse had to drink tea. I handed him the tea menu and asked courteously:

“What may I get you, sir?”

There was a certain significance to the tea one ordered. It depended on what kind of service the customer required.

For example, a customer seeking wealth and prosperity would order a pot of Golden Eyebrow tea.

Someone praying for peace and harmony in the household would order a pot of Anji White Tea.

Anyone facing the threat of bloodshed or calamity and seeking to avert it would order a pot of Big Red Robe tea.

Someone inquiring about romance and marriage would order a pot of White Peach Spring tea.

These were all code words, however, understood only by old and familiar customers. A first-time visitor might not know what they meant.

Sure enough, this elderly gentleman had no idea of the hidden meaning. He simply ordered a pot of Pre-Qingming Dragon Well tea.

While I was heating the water and brewing the tea, he could no longer contain himself. In a trembling voice, he whispered:

“Master Lin, please help me! Please, you have to help me!”

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